This year I saw 37 movies in the theater and this year I decided I’ll do my top 7 and my bottom 4 list. Here’s the top list:
- 7. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan – “This suit is black not!”
- 6. Hard Candy – This movie was NUTS IN THE FACE but really very good. Ellen Page (Kitty Pryde in X-men) did an awesome job as a girl getting “seduced” by a pedophile. Great family film.
- 5. Saw III – The latest (not the last) installment of Saw wasn’t quite as awesome as the first two, but it was certainly as twisted. There’s still the big twist that kicks you in the face. I’m still wondering what exactly they’re going to do for Saw IV. The dude said there was going to be another one, so we’ll see I suppose.
- 4. The Hills Have Eyes – Also NUTS IN THE FACE; this was the first horror movie I’ve seen in a long time that showed you just about everything. I don’t think they cut away from anything. Super intense.
- 3. Little Miss Sunshine – We got to see the free sneak preview of this movie and it was great. It’s charming and hilarious. See it now!
- 2. Clerks II – Two words. Donkey show.
- 1. Thank You For Smoking – Also another free sneak preview viewing. This movie was AWESOME and that’s why it’s number one on my list this year. Satire at it’s best.
And now for the worst 5 movies I saw this year:
- 4. Firewall – “I just hacked into your accounts.” This movie wasn’t too bad, but with cheesy lines like that, it definitely makes the bottom five.
- 3. Superman Returns – I’m sure this goes against the consensus, but I thought Superman was dumb. Even being completely accepting of all his Superman abilities and all, it was still unbelievable and over the top.
- 2. Eragon – Probably one of the worst book-to-film adaptations ever. They took approximately one third of the original story, changed that a bit, and then left out the other two thirds entirely. Instead of “based on the novel Eragon by Christopher Paolini” it should have said, “loosely based on the title of the novel Eragon by Christopher Paolini.”
- 1. Ultraviolet – This is probably in the running for worst movie of all time. I posted a bit about it on Day 7 of the road trip postings, but I’ll paste it here for your convenience. “We did go see Ultraviolet though, and that was hilarious. I don’t think it was supposed to be hilarious, but it was. The best idea in the movie was definitely when someone decided that the two people should fight…in the dark…with swords…that are on fire. The people who wrote this, I think, have seen exactly two movies and a trailer in their entire life: Equilibrium, The Matrix, and the trailer for Blade. There wasn’t one original thing in the movie, except for the Gravity Leveler device that let’s you do whatever you want with gravity. It’s this little sphere on a belt buckle that has some lightning stuff inside when they push the button that, one can safely assume, levels gravity. They explain this device very conveniently too. “She must have a gravity leveler!” on character exclaims. “Oh…I see now,” we thought, “it’s perfectly clear now.” Oh, and it’s a vampire movie.”
So there you have it. The top 7 and bottom 4 movies that I saw in the theater this year. As always, feel free to agree with me completely.
